Today it hit me.
I am going to be okay.
This does not relate to anything medical; I am talking about real life. Just living life.
I have learned in the last two years that God truly does provide for our needs. Our needs may be spiritual, emotional, financial, physical, medical, educational…the list goes on and on.
Through two years, our prayers were heard and answered.
Our testimony through cancer and beyond has been nothing short of a miracle. I am so glad to be able to see it for all it has truly been; a gift from God.
We remained faithful, we made some Big Ask prayers, we reached out. I swallowed my pride more times than I can count, I learned to trust people again, I learned what love amongst friends truly looks like.
A few of my closest friends now met me in the midst of the battle. There are times when I wish I had known them before it started, and remember that God’s timing is always perfect. Some of them have become the most important people in my social circle right now. This is a reminder to me that relationships come and go, people grow and change. Sometimes, friendships end and that it is okay.
I do not enjoy the perceived relationships people have through social media. Although I am a Facebook fanatic, I keep my friends list under 400 at all times. I have some friends with over 1000 contacts!
As I am just as raw and honest in real life as I am on this blog I need to keep that circle small for my own sanity.
Speaking of sanity, I see a new counselor now and as we ended the appointment the other day she said, “OK, first of all, you are not crazy…” I told her that I want every session to end like this because when it has been pounded into your head for 20 years that I have been the problem, it is so difficult to overcome that when the abuse continues beyond the marriage.
Anyway…because I am always so open and raw, I keep my social media circle relatively small. I always giggle to myself when I want to invite people to a local event; most of my contacts are not local. That is why I love Facebook, it keeps me connected to my family and friends from afar. The local people on my list are part of my inner circle of trust; my local family.
We continue to have some Big Ask prayers and I am so grateful that I learned through this journey to write down in a notebook all that we pray for so we can go back and look at God’s answers.
Being a believer helps me pray the biggest prayers, because I know there is nothing impossible through God.
John 14: 13 – 14
13 You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. 14 Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it! (NLT)
When I pray I ask for some pretty outrageous things and am confident that God will answer them perfectly. I will continue to pray, and not stop. While I wait for the answers, I will continue to live my best life, to serve others, to minster as I am called.
I am reminded today though this writing just how wonderful you are. I thank you for all you have provided for me throughout my life. Although I sometimes think my prayers range from small to outrageous; you hear each of them with the same love. You answer each one perfectly.
Lord, I ask today for people to join me prayer; Spring is here and summer hot on its heels and we want to be active and outside together even more. I would like for the boys and I to get new bikes this year as our old ones have been outgrown and worn out. Helmets also will be needed for all three of us. You know my son started archery yesterday and he enjoyed it so much, help me to provide him with the equipment he will need as he progresses.
Guide me as I pray about replacing my vehicle. It is only a matter of time before this becomes an urgent need so I’m praying now…before we get to panic mode. I know You know how this will work out; thank you for giving me reason to not worry, knowing you will handle this perfectly.
As I pray for the salvation of people around me, give me strength to feed them spiritually.