It is the same routine. Nothing has changed about it in four years.

Four years, close to 100 opportunities to change it or get over it or not let it bother me…but…

It does; every single time. No matter how hard I try or what I do to distract myself, it still does.

You see, on Monday morning, every other week, the boys go back to their dad’s for a week. And it kills me.

Every other week, no matter how hard I try to get through it, there comes a time the bone crushing agony of reality hits me again and I’m lost.

Nobody sees it, nobody knows it but me. And now you.

Dear God, I don’t understand why I have to endure this agony every time. I only know that I will continue to endure it for You and for them until the end of time because if it’s Your will for this…Your will be done.

When I think I can’t do it anymore, I do it again…because I love them as You love me and this is nothing like the sacrifices You endured for me.

Thank you for showing me the way.



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