Of all things in life to lose track of, this one is pretty funny…
Today I am ONE YEAR CANCER FREE!!
I cannot even begin to explain the relief, the peace, the overwhelming joy that holds every fibre of my being together!
For some reason, I thought my ‘date’ was April 26 (this coming Wednesday). Well, the 26 was May 26 the previous year when I finished my pre-surgical chemo…April 22 the following year I finished my final chemo. Duh…
WHO FORGETS THIS STUFF?
So instead of having an entire day of celebration in my head I am quietly reveling in the silence of my home with the sounds of children playing outside; my youngest amongst them. My older boy playing at a friend’s house after his year end bowling banquet where he was awarded the highest game for his age group and his team placed first!
I would like to be able to start some sort of scholarship program or endowment for cancer families…specifically single parent families as our challenges are very unique.
A year ago I was finished. Done.
Over the past 365 days I have had two surgeries (11 hours and 2.5 hours), seven nights in the hospital, five Angel Flights, eight trips to Rochester, three visits to Canada to see my parents, a new job, another season of bowling, another season of hockey, a baseball season, the boys have been to camp a combined total of four weeks, I have dated, I have had my hair cut once, I have moved. I have loved and lost. We got a cat.
The overall statistic for breast cancer is that one out of every three cases returns as stage IV which is terminal. That is every stage and type of breast cancer…one in three. My cancer: my stage, my grade, my type has a less promising prognosis. I often share that seeing my youngest son graduate will be a miracle; chances are that I will not live that long. In order to make a statistic, there is a worst case and a best case. My specific case is on the worse end of the spectrum; indicating less than a ten year survival rate.
That is just reality.
I could also be hit by a car tomorrow.
The thing is, none of that even matters. The only thing that matters to me in this equation is God. Only He knows how many days or years I have left. I am okay with that.
If I knew I was dying in five months, five years, or fifty years nothing I am doing now would change.
I would continue to love my children as if the breath in my lungs depended on it.
I would continue to do my job as awesomely as I do because I know I am filling up these students every day at school with much more than lunch.
I would fight just like I did when I was first diagnosed. With every ounce of my entire being.
Man, I MADE IT. I made it. Holy crap. I made it.
914 days ago I was told it, “I’m not going to lie, it’s not good…” by the mammogram tech.
I will admit is was less than perfect…but it was good in so many ways.
Thank you for everything that was Dorothy and all that continues to bless us because of her. Cancer saved me God…saved me. Although my faith was in a consistent growth pattern, I still had no idea of Your great love. I had no comprehension of Your mercy.
As I go out and shout to the world about You; continue to surround me with the army that will help to fulfill The Great Commission.
I go in peace, in love. I serve You.