That Time Again

WOW…it has been a very busy couple of weeks at the FTT home. The boys are back in school, mom got a job, we’ve been to court and received the child support order, applied for a new apartment, and engaged in a battle over signing my youngest up for hockey.

Forgive me if I have shared any of the previous info with you, I only have 30 minutes before going into work and just wanted to share a quick update.

My laptop is still dead. A friend of mine who is much more savvy than I in these areas is working on getting it repaired. In the meantime she lent me an iPad for use. Unfortunately it does not like the WordPress website so although I’ve tried everything I still cannot blog.

It came very close to my youngest son not being able to play the game of his dreams this season. I received notice from his father that he could not afford to pay last year and now that he is ordered to pay child support, he definitely cannot afford it.

He offered to pay for the oldest son to be in bowling this season but proposed that I be responsible for all of the fees plus transportation if I want hockey on his schedule. Well, the price is not really an issue as hockey and bowling fees are similar, bowling is $9 each week for 20 weeks plus the sanction and sponsorship fees. Hockey is a $50 USA Hockey fee (paid upfront) then $210 which can be split into six payments.

For bowling you enjoy less than an hour of lane time once per week. Hockey is five one hour practice/game time plus the option of daily open hockey. Definitely a better bang for your buck if you want your child involved in a sport.

Our association also provides all needed equipment at this age range. The only added expense this year will be to lease a pair of skates. My son outgrew the ones they provide for the Mini-mites; also known as U6 age group. This will be around $50 for him to be in a good pair of skates for the year.

Last year when his hockey season was threatened an anonymous benefactor stepped in an paid the fees when our situation was made known. To this day I have no idea who paid for him to play last year. What I do know is that in lieu of that generosity I worked a few shifts at the concession stands when I was needed.

Concession stands is a huge part of the fundraising our organization does. Hockey parents man the concessions at the local arenas and the association is compensated with (I believe) 13% of the revenue. Each hockey player must have an adult cover five two-hour shifts as part of their obligation to the association. As a coach, I get a waiver on this obligation.

Near the end of the year, they were short help for a few events and I gladly filled in when I could. I think I ended up covering 6 shifts, and I loved every minute of it.

So his fees were covered for last year and away we went, year two of hockey. This year when his season was again at risk of being forfeited, a friend stepped in. Her family prefers to stay anonymous and I will respect that.

This generosity will help to budget for me to provide transportation for him when he is at his dad’s house. I have also asked friends to help with either offering rides or helping with gas. I will do everything in my power to give my kids the opportunity to find their passion and calling in life. Youth hockey, youth bowling, my daughter played basketball, golf and bowling…it is definitely possible.

Our little family has been so blessed through this last two years as we have negotiated the trail of cancer and divorce all at once.

I try to put myself in their shoes so I can try to head up the issues they do not need to stress over. My youngest son will never know the battle it has been to have him play hockey for the last two years and again this year. All he knows is our first ice time is next week and we will be there.

I have figured out that hockey transportation will cost approximately $9.00 each time his father refuses to get him to the rink during his week. Of course I have no way of knowing just how many he is going to refuse or if this is just a battle for the sake of a battle on his part.

I sent this text to my pastor last night:

“I paid for hockey today. Although there has been no order for transportation , I will send him the schedule and if he refuses, I will provide transportation…I’m finished fighting.

I’m taking the high road. I’m showing mercy and grace to my neighbour…

I’m killing him with kindness and a Christ-like love…I’m really doing my best.

First…I spelled neighbour that way as I am Canadian and my pastor British; this is our spelling.

What the evil in my head repeats is that I am killing him with kindness because killing him the other way is just too much trouble.

What I hear God telling me is that if I do not model Christ-like grace, mercy and forgiveness he may never experience it. If he never experiences it, my boys are in for a bumpy ride for a long time.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for holding my tongue when I was ready to explode. You know my heart is aching for my boys and that when it comes to their happiness and growth I will do what I can for them.

The army you have surrounded us with is second to none. My heart is so full each time somebody steps up and steps in the line of fire for us and allows us to focus on you instead of turmoil and hate.

Help me remember make a difference in the lives of the students I interact with every day. They make my job fun. Help them see You in all I do.

I am so humble with the love around us Lord, as I begin to pay forward the kindness and generosity shown to us over the last three years, help me meet the needs others may not see.

Thank you thank you thank you




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