When exhaustion strikes, I am useless. I cannot even begin to think about being productive.
Today I slept the morning away. Not just was lounging on the couch, lazy type of day; I slept, hard. Not that I didn’t sleep well last night, I did. My body though is just now waking up.
I understand that parts of my body are still healing. The difficulty is that it is all internal healing. Between chemotherapy, radiation, four surgeries, and throw in a broken ankle; my body has a lot going on inside.
My hair has grown back, I never lost any weight so I did not have that wasted away look. When I read my surgical report from my 11 hour surgery in March and it talks of the extensive scarring on my chest wall from radiation I picture that it probably looks like Freddy Kreuger. Burns take forever to heal and the scar tissue can become an ongoing issue. So far, I’ve been extremely lucky as far as lasting effects.
I have become much better at listening to my body when it tells me to shut up and sit down. i have no problem throwing a blanket over myself and taking a 15 minute nap. The issue is when I lay down for 15 minutes and wake up three hours later.
I am getting there though. Tonight I am going for a walk. A long walk. The longest walk I have attempted since my daily five miles during radiation. That means tonight I am going to sleep well.
Tomorrow I have practice for our Creation Station Team at 10am and if I wasn’t bringing food I would walk there as well! I am going to attempt to get back out there and kick myself in the butt to find my stamina again. It apparently is not going to return all by itself, I have to go looking.
I could really use new shoes as the last time I bought walking shoes was last summer when I walked 5+ miles every day for 5 weeks of radiation…so I can only imagine the miles they have on them. I am long over due, it is just not in the budget until I get a few paychecks under my belt.
I was not hired full time at the school so will be on the sub list again. I will have to redo my budget but I think that I had it figured out before that if I worked 15 days a month as a sub I could cover my bills. I love to budget!!
I am often told I need to swallow my pride, well here goes. My ask for today:
If there is anybody who feels called to help buy new shoes, I would much appreciate it.
*Edited to add September 3, 2016: I have been blessed with brand new shoes!! Thank you so much Becky and Will. I am so blessed to have you in my life. THANK YOU