While I still wait for answers, I thought I would share how the enemy attacks my faith where I am very vulnerable. He has definitely found a soft spot in my armor. It takes everything I have to stay true to myself and to God on this one.
Part of the difficulty is keeping myself out of situations that would become challenging. It is the first line defense, remove the threat. When I wrote The Ultimate Lie I used the following verse:
1 Corinthians 10 : 13
13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. (New Living Translation)
He will show you, it is up to you to take the path marked FOLLOW ME. You can lead a horse to water…due to the gift of free will, God can lead us from temptation, it is ultimately up to us to allow Him to take our hand.
This applies to so much in our lives and I had to figure out how it applied to finding the love of my life.
Step one for me was simply knowing my boundaries, setting them, and remaining firm. Seems pretty easy to see it written. I wish life was as easy as writing is.
In concept, it is a wonderful lesson to meditate on and follow through. In real life, when you are hurting, lonely, vulnerable, and watching all your happily married friends with their families; it gets tougher to remember why you had those boundaries.
It becomes easier to relax those fences, move them out just a few inches at a time. The problem is, over time you have relaxed them so far that the boundary you had set in place initially cannot even be seen from where you stand now.
That is when I realized I did not need to place fences where to mark my boundaries, I needed walls; high, secure, unbreakable walls. I needed to decide my deal breakers before even thinking about hitting the dating world again.
I was irresponsible to just jump in a hope for the best. I dated men I knew had no intention of marrying me. I dated a man who made me cry on a regular basis. I dated a gentleman who was wonderful, for somebody else. We just did not fit. As much as I would have loved it to be so, we were just not compatible.
So here I am, single again and taking time to fortify my wall. Before going on another first date I need to make sure there are no holes, no cracks. I just want my last first date, my last first kiss…and I trust God will bring me that match…I just need to work on my patience with His timing.
I am so very thankful for the people you have brought into my life to teach me the lessons I didn’t even know I needed to learn. Such very important lessons they have been and I still study the notes regularly.
Lord, please comfort my future husband’s heart and bring him peace when he is lonely and starts to think there is nobody for him. Give him an army as strong as the one you have surrounded me with. Teach him that he is worth the wait, he is worth the trouble, he is valuable, and that it will be so very worth it.
Remove from him any doubt that there is somebody out there praying for him this very minute…
Help me to remember all those same things about myself. Help me to be patient to Your timing. Continue to help me find that fulfillment in my life that will prepare me better for my partner.