I consider myself to be living the good life. My children and grandchild are all healthy, I am healthy, my family is healthy. I belong to a wonderful church and an exceptional community.
As I move closer to God, I am constantly reminding myself that He is my parent. Is the good life what I would want for any or all of my family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances?
Of course not. While it is comfortable here for the most part, I want them to have a great life. I want them to achieve their ultimate potential. I understand now what it was life for my parents to watch my grades nose-dive in high school and my dreams of becoming a teacher, doctor, or lawyer were thrown away like so many opportunities of my youth. They tried to motivate me; they never gave up on me even long after I had given up on myself.
Now here I am, well removed from my childhood and looking to grow closer to God and He is not giving up on me either. He desires me to walk with him. He holds my hand when I stumble, carries me when I fall, and kicks my butt when I need it.
He wants us to live a great life. To be happy, fullfilled, and eager to serve each other.
…that brings me to change. ..
Change sucks. Even good change.
As I watched my first born labour last week, and she was overcome with pain and tears in her eyes she wanted it over with. When that precious little bundle took her first breath, she understood then just how worth is the pain was.
I guess that’s how I’m feeling right now. I’m in the throes of labour (with no drugs) and I want to stop becuase it hurts so much.
I cannot stop.
Just as in childbirth, I cannot stop now. My life depends on it.
In 2007 when the doctors told us that our baby was not going to be carried to term (prognosis was “Zero” according to the ER doctor that night and my general practitioner the next day). I was given the option of having an immediate D&C to evacuate my uterus, or go home and wait for the baby to actually die before giving birth.
Without a thought I told them that I was going home to love my baby until God decided it was time to give it back…
He will be nine this November. Tomorrow I am dropping him off at Bible Camp for a week, this winter I will coach him for his third year in hockey.
Was it easy to get him here? Hardly. I spent 23 weeks on very strict bedrest. I prayed every day for this little munchkin. After the first week, the doctors still did not encourage me to get my hopes up. The odds of staying pregnant until it was considered a viable birth were less than 5%.
I was induced at 35 weeks due to a rare liver condition.
So worth every tear I shed, every event I had to miss, worth every minute of worry. Looking back now, when I tell people his story they inevitably say they have no idea how I did it and that they would never be able to do that.
I didn’t do it; God did and I’m so very thankful. Every minute of every day…
This journey is not easy, it is a choice. I choose to live my best life for God, my family, my community. Please join me.
Thank you for the gift of children and grandchildren. I’m humbled to be so blessed with such an awesome group of kids. I’m so glad that I can look at all of these situations and remember that it was awful…and so worth it.
Continue to send Your called to join me on this journey. We can walk together.
Use me as intended for Your good work.