Your best friends are not the people who make you feel warm and fuzzy all the time. They do not always hug and coddle you. Those are great people to have in your life; don’t get me wrong, everybody needs a cheer leading section.
Your BEST friends, are the ones who ask the hard questions, who hold you accountable in public and privately, who challenge your view and perception.
Right now I have a three of these friends, and I love them as deeply as I scowl at the thought of asking for feedback.
The other day when I was struggling with the ‘suffering well’ scripture, I sent a text to my Pastor. Of course I could not then be surprised when he used that same conversation just a couple days later when I was swimming in hurt, frustration, and emotional pain.
After a ranting Facebook post, I received the following text from my Pastor:
Pastor: You know when you asked how to know if you are suffering well…how do you think you will suffer well with this new situation?
UGH…Really…who does this guy think he is? What gives him the right to call me out when I’m still FUMING? Oh ya…I did. I have told him many times that not only do I appreciate when he calls me out, I encourage it.
Me: You know…some times I hate how much you love me.
P: Yeah. Count on it.
M: But spreading my anger and frustration serves nobody but me…
P: Uh huh. Sometimes I love how much God loves you.
M: Thank you…Facebook post removed….
I only have three people outside of my family who even dare to talk to me like that. Each of them do it such individual ways, all of them well aware that I may be very angry, not one of them care. Each one of them takes a risk every time they question my motives. They are willing to risk our friendship for the sake of what is right in God’s Kingdom.
In the short time my post was on Facebook I had already received support. People were frustrated with me.
What purpose did that fill? How was that advancing God’s kingdom? Now not only was I on an emotional rampage, I had an army growing behind me for a fight that wasn’t theirs.
Don’t get me wrong…the people who verbalized their support…I needed that too. What happened was wrong and awful. Complaining though, was not productive.
Instead, I chose to redirect my focus to a much more important issue; a spreading infection in one of my surgical wounds.
I’ve been on antibiotics and packing an open wound since Saturday.
Last night I was talking to another friend and told him that I was tired of there always being something wrong. I sent that message flippantly and received this response:
Concentrate on things that you can do something about and pray to God for things you can’t! But don’t ever think that the things you can do something about that your doing on your own! God is always in control! Lol idk this just popped in my head but I had to make sure I got the right words in so it would make sense. Haha
EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Don’t join my pity party, don’t feed my weariness. Instead, light my path, hold my hand as I take another step when my steps are shaky.
These are the friends we need, not always the ones we want!